Thoughts about Valentine's Day.

It's that time of year where social media feeds has everyone in a relationship going ga-ga over their significant other. On my fourth Valentine's Day post divorce I can't help but feel a little cynical. To be fair, even when I was with John, Valentine's Day had more issues than romance. Our first Valentine's Day was also our nine month anniversary. John was pulled over while driving on a revoked license. He was arrested. I was with him but couldn't drive so we ended up stranded in a small town in Wisconsin for the next almost 24 hours before we took a bus home. I then promptly dropped out of school to go down to Madison and live with him to help him out. And no one really tried to talk me out of this either which I find very strange now.

Subsequent Valentine's Days ended with John being fired from a job or illness, or something else. So I learned quickly to keep my expectations for that day very low. Nonetheless, who doesn't enjoy a little romance?

But that's kind of the thing. Romance or sex or what have you, but love is so much more than that. It's communication. It's being honest with the person you are with. It's following through on plans and promises you have made. It's commitment.

When I look around at many of the relationships I see today, my former marriage included, I don't see much of that. It is a very rare relationship I see that has this. I find that to be very sad and, to be a little honest, it has me rather cynical at times about the likelihood of finding a healthy and happy relationship of my own. Just doesn't seem very possible.