The necessity of having strong personal moral values.

Moral values tend to come up a lot when discussing the difference between believers and non-believers. It's often believed that non-believers do not have any values at all. That's simply not true. Us non-believers do have values; we do have morals. However, they are not based on a single text as it can be with many believers. That is not to say a non-believer can't draw morals from that single text because they certainly can. However, there are many places one can find morals and values to draw from. The important thing is that we decide what those morals and values are and stick to them.

If there is anything I have learned from life is that without deeply held personal morals, we are subject to the waves and winds of life, at risk of being dragged along by anyone who comes around. We can't always assume that those around us have the best of intentions for us. They might but ultimately, most people tend to think of themselves, their needs and wants, so it is best we go in ahead of time knowing exactly what is important to us, what values we hold dear so that we can stick to those values at those times we are tested by the difficulties and challenges of life that are sure to come at us.

Just because there isn't someone watching over us judging us and deciding on our final destination after death doesn't mean we can get off scott free here. Our values define who we are and the kind of person we want to be. Our conscious judges us and that can be just as bad if not worse than the idea of any deity judging us. After all, you're stuck with yourself for life. You should be able to at least like yourself.

I'm finding more and more the importance of this when I contemplate going back out into the dating world again. In the past, my morals haven't been very strong. I allowed things that in reality, I resented greatly. And the result of that was to be married to someone I found I really did not like. And now, I definitely don't like him. If I were to meet him at this stage of my life, I probably would not have gotten involved with him or would likely break the relationship off before it became too serious. I learned that certain things can be a big red flag and not to see just what I want to see but to look at if this person's values are compatible with my own.

It's not easy. I have spent much of my life being a people pleaser. I want people to like me, I want to be accepted. And sometimes, that has meant ignoring that little voice in my head that says something is not right here. Sometimes that has meant staying in something that wasn't good for me such as my marriage for far longer than I should have. Sometimes that has meant ignoring my needs and not taking care of them as I should. And by doing all of that, I'm not creating a life that is worth living for me. Instead, I'm placing myself into a hell of my own making and that's really not a good place to be.

So yes, morals and values should be important to non-believers. Not because there is some all seeing deity watching us like a creepy stalker but because going against those values do us more harm than good. But we can't even begin to defend those morals and values until we know what they are. That's the important piece of the puzzle.